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“When I was your age, I had to walk to school both ways, barefoot in the snow.”

We’ve all heard this at one point or another from a gray beard whose idea of a medical treatment plan is Rubbing Some Dirt On It.

We promised ourselves not to be That Guy, but with an emerging generation of coddled kids being served gratification over grit, it may be our civic duty to brainstorm a cliché that allows them to put their privilege in perspective.

Just spitballin’ here:

“When I was your age, I had to physically drive to the doctor’s office, pay for parking, sit inside an archaic waiting room with ghastly lighting that showed every pimple and pore, finger through a teenie bopper magazine while absorbing whatever viral sickness the woman beside me was spraying over the walls, finally meeting the doctor only to tell him that my manhood gone limp.”

We may have to condense for brevity’s sake, but the point remains.

The dreaded doctor’s office visit is beginning to feel as antiquated as the waiting room wallpaper, and innovators like Hims is leading the charge.

hims, a full-service telehealth company for the modern man, has stripped out all of the inconvenience, excess, and straight-up awkwardness by allowing its community to attend to their health and wellness online via video chat, from the comfort of their own homes.

hims connects you to medical providers online who can evaluate and prescribe FDA-approved medications for a wide array of issues, but let’s focus on two that feel increasingly prevalent: mental health and performance issues in the bedroom.

hims for Mental Health

FACT: An estimated 26% of Americans ages 18 and older — about 1 in 4 adults — suffers from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year (Johns Hopkins Medicine), and 37% of high school students reported regular mental health struggles during the pandemic (CDC).

Whether you’re dealing with anxiety or depression or fighting the emotional waves of a big life change like a breakup or move, Hims allows you to not only connect with a provider in 24-48 hours, but makes the process as easy as you’d hope.

Step 1: Simple Consultation

Complete an online mental health assessment & answer a few questions from your licensed healthcare provider.

Step 2: Free Delivery

If prescribed, get your medications delivered directly to your door—for free.

Step 3: Ongoing Support

Unlimited check-ins and dosage adjustments without the visit to the doctor’s office

To make the decision even easier, Hims is running a 70 PERCENT off promo for your first month. You can’t put a price on your mental health, but if you had to, make it as cheap as possible.

Hims for Performance Issues in Bed

FACT: Over 322 million men are projected to have experienced trouble getting hard, and the prevalence has been rapidly increasing in men younger than 40 in recent years (Apex Health Center).

Bedroom issues can put a strain on relationships, ding up your self-worth, and inject unnecessary anxiety that follows you out of the bedroom. The potential apprehension you feel from seeking help pales in comparison to the downside of living with it unchecked.

Seeking help has never been easier and more cost-effective.

Hims connects you to medical providers/experts online who can evaluate and prescribe FDA-approved medications—stop me if you’ve heard this before—from the comfort of your own home.

Hims provides both generic and name-brand meds, and meds that you only take when needed or that you take daily so you don’t have to plan ahead. Whatever your situation, take comfort in knowing that every drug you’ll find on Hims have been approved by the Food and Drug Administration.

Don’t just live with it, deal with it. Especially since now you don’t have to make an in-person appointment weeks down the line only to tell a stranger face-to-face that your manhood ain’t cooperating.

Hims runs as low as $3 per dose and there is a 60 day money-back guarantee. More details here.

Maybe the ease of this telehealth thing will stunt the growth of future generations by robbing them of the need to really *work* for results. Maybe laborious brick-and-mortar visits prepare them for life in a way instant gratification cannot.

I don’t know what the future brings, but I do know one thing: You won’t find me in a doctor’s office waiting room listening to yacht rock anytime soon. I’m not a dinosaur.



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